This can be a serious and challenging situation. Dealing with aggressive or violent behaviour from a child requires careful consideration and support. Here’s some guidance that we hope will help you feel less alone and more empowered.
Immediate Safety Strategies
- Create a safety plan for all family members, including safe spaces to retreat to when behaviours escalate.
- Remove dangerous objects from easily accessible areas.
- Learn de-escalation techniques specific to your child’s needs.
- Establish clear, consistent boundaries while remaining calm during incidents.
Understanding the Behaviour
Violent or aggressive outbursts often represent communication, not deliberate aggression. Consider whether any of the following might be contributing:
- Sensory overload or sensitivity issues
- Frustration from communication difficulties
- Anxiety or feeling overwhelmed
- Changes in routine or environment, or too many transitions
- Unmet needs they struggle to express
- Possible medical issues (e.g., pain, medication effects)
Professional Support
1. GP Referral
Your first contact should be your GP, who can refer you to:
- CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)
- Neurodevelopmental teams, such as paediatricians or therapy services
- Specialist behavioural support
2. Social Services
They can assess your family’s needs and provide additional help such as:
- Early Help services
- Short breaks or respite care
- Family support workers
3. Education Support
Contact your child’s school SENCO or request the following:
- Educational Psychology assessment
- Behaviour support team involvement
- Review of EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan), if applicable
Parent-Specific Support
- Parent training programs like Early Bird (for autism) or other behavioural management courses
- Carer’s Assessment from your local authority to identify what support you may need
- Join support groups for parents in similar situations – both online and locally
Additional Resources
- Challenging Behaviour Foundation: Offers practical resources and advice
- National Autistic Society: Includes behaviour-specific guidance
- Contact: Charity supporting families with disabled children
In an Emergency
If at any point you feel your family is in immediate danger, call emergency services on 999.